I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
