too bad you live with your parents still
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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