You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
