Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
