Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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