if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
