batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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