His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
