I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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