this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
