apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
