Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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