i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
