My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my poor anus
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
