I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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