Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
