She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
