Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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