At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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