we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
