Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
