College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
