their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
