So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize