so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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