even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
