and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Text me some of your sweat
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
