i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
