i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
