Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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