yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
