We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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