Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
