I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
