I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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