went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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