and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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