i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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