I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she peed on how many people?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
