Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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