CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
