McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
