Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
