Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
