What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
