my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
