what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize