Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize