the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
