Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
