Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
