Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
