I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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