i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
