Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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