Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
