She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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