...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
