Can Purell be used as lube?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
