He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
