after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
